Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
