she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
