how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
