If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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