Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize