I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
