No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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