I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
