Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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