Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
