People with herpes should wear stickers.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
