is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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