Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
