nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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