I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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