yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
