So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
