I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
