id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
