Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
