You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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