I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
