but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
