i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
