I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
