I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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