He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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