ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
