Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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