If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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