i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
