Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
