love makes seman taste better
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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