Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
