so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
