i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
