I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
