I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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