I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
