Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
