Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
