How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize