How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
