Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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