I'm jealous of your bromance
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
