Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
