We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
