I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
