I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
