respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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