I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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