Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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