the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
