you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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