Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We got so high we made milksteak
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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