We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
