There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well most of my day revolves around power hour
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
