I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
