from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
