hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
