omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
