Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
