is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
