Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
