I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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