:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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