Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize