Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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