She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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