Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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