Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
