i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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