I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
